Baby planning and Standard of Care Issues

Hi all!
I hope you had a lovely and entertaining holiday with your families and friends. Our holidays were busy, on top of hectic, with a dash of crazy. My stress even manifested itself in the form of a stye in my left eye. Be thankful if you have no clue what one of those is.
I decided it would be better to start my post holiday posts with something decidedly non-holiday/resolution/etc. Baby Planning.
I know that many of you are going to say that you can't exactly plan a baby. You can start trying to get pregnant during a certain time frame, but your actual date of conception and due date are at the mercy of a higher power.
Husband and I have been talking a lot about when we would like to try for baby #2 and we are both very sure as to when. This also brought about the discussion of prenatal care. I'm not sure if you understand how military health care works so I'll break down simply. There are two types of Tricare, Standard and Prime. Those who are at E-6 and above pay grade are given a choice between the two. The most prominent difference being that you do not pay any type of deductible for medical care under Prime. Of course we chose Prime being that we weren't interested in paying if we didn't have to. There is a major problem with this. The level of care that you receive in military facilities where pregnancy is concerned is adequate at best.
My experiences during my first pregnancy have lead me to decide to switch to Standard for my next baby so I can see a private doctor. Let me walk you through a pregnancy with Prime and strictly military health facilities. When you call the doctor to confirm pregnancy they tell you to come in for a blood test. No ultrasound. The blood test confirms your pregnancy and you are assigned to an OBGYN. In my case, the OBGYN visits took place in the Army hospital. Upon my first visit I was kind of jarred by the fact that I had to take a number from a Deli machine and wait until my number was called. First red flag.
I was never guaranteed that I would see the same OBGYN, nope I got whoever was available. I don't understand how they could see important factors that might lead them to believe that I had issues/complications. This was a major problem because I did have an issue, I had a condition known as Hypermesis Gravidarum (HG).

"Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is a severe form of nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. It is generally described as unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids. If severe and/or inadequately treated, it is typically associated with:

• loss of greater than 5% of pre-pregnancy body weight (usually over 10%)
• dehydration and production of ketones
• nutritional deficiencies
• metabolic imbalances
• difficulty with daily activities" (HER Foundation, 2013).

If I'd had the same OBGYN the entire time she would have noticed that I was gradually losing about 20 lbs throughout my pregnancy. That I was getting sick so often that I turned up at the ER because my throat was bleeding. That I could barely get through daily activities without vomiting.

(At 26 weeks most women are complaining about gaining too much weight and swelling. My pants were falling down because I had lost too much weight.)

Eating was a daily challenge, I knew that I had to put healthy foods into my body to nourish my developing baby. The doctor finally noticed my significant weight loss after I was well into my second trimester. I was put on an anti-nausea med that is most often prescribed to cancer patients going through chemo therapy. In order to be able to even look at food or keep it down I had to take this medication regularly.

The story does have a good ending however. My daughter was born two weeks early, and she was an adorably healthy little peanut at 6 lbs 9.5oz. I finished my BA in Health and Wellness this past year, and because of what I had gone through I became vigilant about researching prenatal health. I had no idea that there was an actual name for the condition that I had. I learned that I should expect and fight for a better standard of care for myself and my unborn child. If you don't do it, no one will. My next pregnancy will be better, because I will make sure that I am given the care that I need.

25 Before 2014

I decided that I would follow suit with my friends Jessica and Amanda and do the 25 Questions before 2014 post. I think this is a much better way to do a review of your year and see what you would like to change in the new year than resolutions.  

1. What am I most proud of this year? I am so proud of our accomplishments as a family. We finally took a road trip we've been planning for the better part of 4 years, we bought a new home, and we've begun planning our vow renewal.

2. How can I become a better _friend_? I think that sometimes I get too involved, I need to let things lie with some friends. I think I tend to over think situations and it often makes for uncomfortable conversations. I've been working on this one already and I can say that it has been very successful thus far!


3. Where am I feeling stuck? Careerwise. I have applied to job after job since moving to Connecticut and I have yet to hear anything. It definitely does a number on your confidence.

4. Where do I need to allow myself grace? Weight gain. I know that I've put on some weight during our PCS and the holidays. However, my schedule was nowhere near normal in the last 4 months so I need to move forward instead of beating myself up.

5. Am I passionate about my career? My career currently would be parenting. Yes, I will always be passionate about parenting my children. So much so that I am already getting excited to plan for baby #2.

6. What lessons have I learned? Life is what you make it. Happiness can be situational and based on the life you make wherever you happen to be.
 
7. What did my finances look like? Our finances look pretty good! We paid off a lot of bills prior to buying our home. We're still paying off student loans, but I only just graduated in March.
8. How did I spend my free time? I read a lot of books, spent a lot of time painting, and playing The Sims (I'm addicted).
 9. How well did I take care of my body, mind, and soul? I took much better care of my body at the start of the year. I ran my longest race (8 miles) in February. The last bit hasn't been so friendly to my body. I've been caring for mind much more by opening myself to educated debate and reading as always. I think my soul got an extra dose of care this year, I have been working to mend broken friendships and working on some personal flaws that are changeable. 

10. How have I been open-minded? I'm becoming more accepting of other people's opinions. Do I agree with all of them? Certainly not, but I can see things from their side and become less biased about issues. I'm also being more accepting of advice I'm given, but always with a grain of salt.

11. When did I feel most creatively inspired? I'm an artist. I am almost always creatively inspired. It gets pretty hard to turn my left brain off.

12. What projects have I completed? Moving into our new home would have to be the only thing I technically completed.

13. How have I procrastinated? I would honestly say that I haven't really procrastinated. I've had to put stuff on the back burner due to husband's work schedule. Planning our vow renewal for instance, I feel behind the game, but that's no fault of my own. We had to wait until our funding was in place and until we were back in the NorthEast. These things were all dependent upon my husband's job.

14. In what ways can I re-structure my time? I don't really see where I would need to restructure. I usually make the most of what time I have.

15. How have I allowed fear of failure to hold me back? Not at all. Being an artist, the fear of failure is constant, but you have to put yourself out there.

16. Where has self-doubt taken over? In the career area, I wonder if I will ever find a job!

17. When have I felt the most alive? On our big road trip! Standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, touring a haunted house, driving down Route 66. :)

18. How have I taught others to respect me? I have gotten much better at expressing how I feel without becoming confrontational. Discussion is important in any relationship. Dissecting a situation and learning to diffuse any hard feelings.

19. How can I improve my relationships? I think backing off a little. I can get really intense. Time to learn to let things go.

20. Have I been unfair to anyone? Certainly. 

21. Who do I need to forgive? I've forgiven a lot this year, I think I'm all set here.

22. Where is it time to let go? I think that I've done a lot of letting go along with the forgiving.

23. What old habits would I like to release? The constant Facebooking. I think there needs to be a support group for those of us who get too into it. I got roped in really hard since my husband used to be away a lot.

24. What new habits would I like to cultivate? Cooking at home more often. I won't lie, I love cheeseburgers and fries. If I make a good meal at home that I have planned I am more likely to skip the drive thru.

25. How can I be kind to myself? Allowing myself the time to create a schedule here in CT. It's hard to get your footing and find your happy place in a new duty station. I'm working at it every day :)

I hope everyone enjoys their holidays! New Girl will be back after Christmas :D

Mommy Needs a Break

Have you ever read an article on Facebook and thought "wow, they get me". Well this popped up in my feed a couple days ago and I really wanted to hug the woman that wrote it. There never really is a good way to express to your working husband that you need a break without feeling like you're discounting that they've been working all. day. long.

This has to be one of my favorite scenes from Family Guy, like, ever. Now I just want to give Lois a hug because Evie has been pulling this crap on me for the past two weeks. She is adorable and cute and I love her, but sometimes I just want to play on my computer by myself. I'm getting to the point where I feel like all of my nerves are on the outside of my body and Evie is poking them.

I guess what's driving me the most crazy is that it's the holiday season and stuff is just nuts. I would usually get a reprieve when John returns, but no such luck this time. It's gonna be holiday prep to spending time with family, to spending time with family, to spending time with family.

I've been seriously lacking in the adult conversation department due to the fact that I've yet to make adult friends here in Connecticut. Something's gotta give! I watch Disney Jr. for hours a day, to the point where I've wanted to strangle Mickey Mouse with his high pitched voice. 

I'm so sorry Mickey, you get the aggression.

So yeah, mommy really needs a break. The good news is that John will be home on Wednesday! I just want to take a warm bubble bath with a book, without Evie frantically knocking on the door because she can't get her Minnie Mouse bow on. *sigh* It's uphill from here. 

Putting on the Fat Pants

Ok Ryan Gosling, whatever you say. The cookies I had this week at the cookie party and in the baking process tasted soooo good. I couldn't really control myself, especially since I've been in a spiral of terrible eating since we left Hawaii. THAT WAS 3 MONTHS AGO!!!

As I stuffed my face with more food this weekend I started to feel like poo. What am I doing?! I completely gave up on healthy eating in the interest of laziness and legit Chinese takeout. It seemed like a good enough excuse until my larger size jeans started to feel a little tight.

Let me explain something, I always keep two different sizes of jeans in my wardrobe. I'm human, I know that I'm going to have some times where I need to put on the big pants. Well, I put on the big pants and they're feeling a little tight. Oops!

So as of last night I put down my diet coke and decided to start getting healthy again. The first thing I did was run a painful 3.25 miles on the treadmill. Gosh, I feel much better now. That healthy habit gave way to another. Instead of scarfing yet another french bread frozen pizza (since my sailor is away) I scarfed about a half a bag of spinach worth of salad. It tasted amazing after that run. I didn't have that nasty fried food hangover either.

So there's my first step. Let's see if we can keep this ball rolling.

In My Makeup Bag: Beauty on A Budget

Hey everyone! I've decided to do a monthly feature on what's in my makeup bag. I figured it would be fun to show you what I'm into each month and maybe you'll find some new favorites too! To start, here is my makeup bag:

My makeup bag is a bit on the larger side. I've been known to live out of it for 1-3 months at a time due to our crazy Navy family schedule. That being said, I need room for my essentials and little extras. I'm not a "one look" kinda gal. This month's theme is Beauty on a Budget, between buying a home recently and purchasing Christmas gifts beauty products are not the biggest priority. Anyways, let's get to what's inside!

1. Cover Girl Great Lash BIG Mascara

This has been my go to mascara for as long as I can remember. When I started wearing makeup in my teenage years this was one of my first purchases. It's very affordable at only $5.75. It's also the best working within it's price range. It's never clumpy or flaky, and it gives me the naturally enhanced lashes that I look for.

2. NYX Enchanted Kiss Butter Gloss Set

My sister in law got me hooked on NYX cosmetics. 90% of beauty vlogger/bloggers/gurus out there use at least one item from them. I picked up this set at Ulta for less than the $10 retail cost. That comes to less than $2 per gloss, quite a steal. The colors are flattering to any skin tone, and it's a great basic starter set for those who are just starting with lip color. It's not sticky and it does feel pretty buttery on the lips. This would make a great Christmas gift or stocking stuffer for your makeup loving friends.

3. Zoya nail polish in Giovanna

Zoya nail polishes run for about $8 per bottle. This is pretty general as far as better quality nail polishes go. I received this color in my Ipsy bag, which is my $10 per month beauty sample subscription. Being that it was full size and included with 4 other samples it was basically a steal. Giovanna is an awesome holiday green color, pretty fun for those who are tired of the same old reds. 

4. NYX Eyebrow Push-Up Bra 

NYX pretty much has it in the bag for me this month. I LOVE combo products, it saves me room in my makeup bag. This eyebrow/highlighter combo pencil is awesome for cleaning up brow shape and making them look lifted. I was having a serious Groucho Marx type eyebrow issue lately and this seriously improved that.

(Not a good look! Eeek!)

This combo pencil retails for $10 on a regular basis. I got mine for $7.50 because Ulta was running a sale (yay!).

5. Neutrogena Makeup Remover Wipes

These are easily the best and most affordable makeup removing wipes out there. I have very sensitive skin and scrubbing away at eyeliner can really irritate my skin. These are very gentle and don't have an icky smell. You can pick these up for about $5 pretty much anywhere. It's important to wash your makeup off daily. 

My covetable item of the month:

The Naked3 Palette

This is a big one. I own the Naked2 palette and I use it almost daily. Naked3 is a neutral palette as well, but all the colors are rose-hued. I have a little obsession with rose gold, so this palette made me screech out loud when it was announced via email. (Seriously, John looked at me like I was a nutcase)

 The unfortunate part is that it doesn't come cheap, $52!!!

That is why it's my covet item, I simply cannot afford it. I'm hoping Santa is sweet to me and maybe brings this along. If not, I can always wait until there's a sale since it's not a limited edition item. The price tag is legit on these, Urban Decay makes high quality, highly pigmented makeup with amazing color payoff. So wearable. (This was not endorsed in any way, I just love them that much).

What are your favorite affordable beauty products? What is something that you might be coveting but can't afford/bring yourself to spend the money on?

Mommy Goals

I am sitting here not believing that Evie will be 3 in April. How?!?

(Fun fact: Since Evie is so tall many mistake her for being 3 and 1/2 to 4 years old!)

The biggest and most daunting thing is that Evie has yet to be potty trained. Some people may be wondering why Evie isn't using the potty yet. I can easily explain this away with our hectic schedule over the past three months. We packed up and moved from our home in Hawaii, took a 2 and a half week road trip, spent one month house hunting/buying, and any of the rest of the time has been spent moving in and unpacking. *phew!* So, I'm willing to bet you don't blame me at this point.

Based on Evie's reaction every time I ask her if she wants to use the potty: "Noo, no, no, no!!" I'm guessing the potty looks something like this to her.

(10 bonus points for whoever can tell me which move this is from!!)

I'm hoping to get her to use the potty without bribery. Honestly, Evie is so spoiled these days that I doubt stickers or candy are much incentive to use the evil potty. 

Do you know any good methods for potty training? What worked for your children?

I'm a Homeowner!

Ok guys, shameless squeal of happiness. Aaaaaaiiiiieeieeeee!! This girl is officially a homeowner. After  2 and a half months of hotel living I have a place to call home.

We were so lucky that the process was fairly painless, especially with the age of the house. Learning the cost of upkeep, decoration, etc. was a bit rough but we're managing. Some things we have to get done asap, some things will be taken care of years down the road. It's all about being ok with things not being perfect. Being that our home was built in 1900 and we have a very minimal number of problems I am counting my blessings. (Another friend who is buying a home through with a VA loan has upwards of 30-something issues to fix before closing, yikes).

What have I learned in buying a home? That you can't expect everything to be perfect. At least not until you fix it. There will be leaks or rattling windows, but at the end of the day it's your home. I think the number one thing that allows me to forget about those is that we will be home for Christmas. Amazing.

Exploring Connecticut: Mystic

John and I were stressing this Saturday morning because we were waiting to hear about the status of our VA inspection. It was important for us to know since we were originally set to close on the house on Monday. The inspection went great, but unfortunately we have to wait until Thursday to close. I know, it sounds ridiculous to be bummed about a few extra days. I've reached my wits end about living out of a suitcase for 3 months. I just can't wait to be "home".
In order to let go of the home buying stress I suggested that we drive into Mystic. We live about 20 minutes away from this quaint New England town, so it is a perfect weekend activity. I've known about Mystic for a really long time because of the Julia Robert's hit "Mystic Pizza".

(Disclaimer: I don't know why I love this movie, it's actually kind of awful. The fact that I purchased the DVD for $1.50 should be a testament to that)

When you drive into Mystic you get that wonderful feel of New England Harbor towns. The sailboats everywhere, a drawbridge, seafood restaurants galore. I was in heaven.

(I couldn't help myself, I had to take the "tourist in front of the giant anchor" photo)

My impressions of Mystic are that if you are someone who loves to walk around main street type areas and shop, it's for you. There were so many cute little shops, very few of them were chains, which I love. Any opportunity to support local businesses is awesome.

John and I decided that this will be an awesome date hang out as well as family outing. You can take your family and grab a slice of Mystic Pizza (oh yes, it's a real place). Any of my friends who have lived here rave about the ice cream on the bridge. The weather wasn't exactly right for that. I will 100% be returning just to go to the spice and tea import store. Oh holy wow, they have the best tasting spices, oils, salts, sugars. I wanted to sit there and eat all of their free samples.

 As for the date outing, John and I went to this great little restaurant called Azu. We just happened to catch it at happy hour, so we were able to order small portion snack items and each have a drink. The calamari was hands down the best I have ever had and John agreed. All in all Mystic was a fun little stop and it made for a wonderful Saturday.

Svaroopa Yoga

I decided to strike out on my own this Wednesday and try a yoga class. The local studio offered a free 90 minute yoga class to new members. Based on the regular prices of classes you really can't beat free ($22 for a drop in?!?).
I gathered up my "new girl" courage and dropped in to the yoga studio. The first thing that I noticed upon entering was that the median age was about 60. I quickly realized that this would not be the kind of yoga class I was used to that focused on muscle strength and stretching.
The instructor explained that this was a Svaroopa yoga studio. She stressed the importance of aligning the spine and having support during the poses. My classmates were already laid out on blanket covered yoga mats with their legs propped over piles of blankets. The instructor gave me a quick lesson in blanket folding (If you could see my linen closet on a regular basis you would know that this is not a regular life skill that I possess). The folds all had special names and I wondered if this would just become a big game of blanket origami.
As we arranged my blankets properly she set me up to be comfortable in the first pose. My legs and bum were scooted up to a big pile of blankets under my knees. My head was rested on another blanket for even more support. The instructor explained that the blankets were there to carry the tension for me and help me relax. After this she arranged my limbs so that my spine was in alignment and I had the least amount of tension in my body.

(You can see why I had flashbacks to Kindergarten nap naptime)

She literally arranged my shoulder blade so that I could feel the difference. It was like I had been living life as a twisted pretzel lady. It was definitely a relaxing experience. We laid around under/on our blankets for about 15 minutes while she ran us through a body relaxation. Then we did about 4 poses over the course of 60 minutes which involved us rearranging our blankets for support. The end of class had us returning to the original propped up blanket pose.
Overall, I would say it was a very relaxing class. I came back to the hotel room and ate lunch and then proceeded to take a 2 hour long snooze. That is not normal for me.
I can honestly say that I don't think that I would go back to this type of yoga class regularly. I could see this being beneficial to those of older generations or those who may have back issues. Personally, I would like to push myself and do a class that features more strength and poses. If you're looking to relax it is definitely worth a shot.
Here is a handout that may better explain Svaroopa Yoga:
Svaroopa Yoga

The Big to Do List

Oh holy wow you guys! I have a big list of things that need to be accomplished sooner rather than later. This whole being an adult thing can really throw you for a loop sometimes.

1. Close on our new house!
Ok, admittedly I am very very excited about this part of the list. John and I found the perfect home for our family and we are set to close a week from today! It really only just hit me yesterday how close we are to being in our new home. The only negative, there is some stress to go along with it. We have to wait for the seller to get the house repainted. We're using a VA loan and the VA is very picky about peeling paint due to the possibility of lead paint chips. Legit reasoning being that it was built in 1900. However, it's on the seller to get it done and we have absolutely no control over how quickly it gets done. Before closing we need the VA to come out and reinspect, but it has to be after the painting is done. Fingers crossed that everything works out well.

(The Future Roeske House!)

2.Get a job!

Let's get one thing clear, I was not meant to be a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong, parenting your child is an extremely rewarding experience. The first two years of staying home with Evie have been amazing. In the midst of diaper changes and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse I obtained my Bachelor's Degree in Health and Wellness. I am really eager to start working in the health field so I can start gaining experience. My ultimate goal is to go back to school for my Master's in Nutrition and become a Registered Dietician. 

3.Plan that Vow Renewal

I'm actually not that stressed about this one, which is odd. John and I decided when we originally got married that we would renew our vows on our 5 year anniversary. That's only 10 months away!! The nice thing is that we agree on pretty much everything. John and I were discussing it this weekend and decided that we would not have bridesmaids/groomsmen. I feel like this celebration needs to be about us and I feel like I have so many friends that are special to me that I don't want to choose who is more important at this point. I want all of our friends to have an enjoyable and relaxing experience at this celebration. I'm also keeping my fingers crossed that when the venue contacts me today that they will have a date available for us next September. 

(The Mansion Inn, what I hope will be our venue!)

John and I made the decision to have the renewal in New York because that is where we met and where I grew up. The Mansion Inn is just so perfectly romantic and I have a slight obsession with Victorian buildings. This one also happens to be haunted, which if you know me you understand that this makes me even more excited about the venue.

4. Enjoy New England!

Regardless of how many important things I need to get done, I'm going to enjoy my new home. I want to be able to get out and have experiences to share with you guys! I can't wait to break out the camera and share this beautiful place. 

Welcome to My Life In New England!

Hello Everyone!
Welcome to my new personal blog. I've decided on a revamp because my whole life has been revamped as of late. I moved from the island of Oahu to Connecticut.

After having lived here for about a month I can say that I love it here. The salty ocean breezes, sailboats, lighthouses, and all around beauty of New England has me enchanted.
This is my personal blog where I'll be sharing my thoughts on well, anything really! If you are more interested in my artwork go here. I've decided to keep the two separate since this blog will focus on broader topics. I look forward to sharing my new adventures with you.
-Lindsey